Bêrîvan is in the ranks of the guerrilla for five years and came to know the PKK like all guerrillas while on a quest and longing for a free life. She describes this part of her life as holy and states that she cannot be a real mother to her child unless she doesn't fight for its freedom.

Guerrilla Bêrîvan Cizîr spoke to ANF about her life and motivation to join the ranks of the guerrilla, and began to tell of her childhood in the Cizre distict of Şirnex (Şirnak).

“I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO”

When she was 4 years old, Bêrîvan's parents divorced and her mother left for Germany while she remained in Cizre with her family. At the age of 9 Bêrîvan realized her family's intention to betroth her at the age of 11, but also the same year she heard by coincidence that her mother was alive and was living abroad. She didn't know another way out so she sought for her mother to get help of her. Bêrîvan's mother decided upon her request to take her to Germany, but not long after her uncle followed to demand her back. After he promised her mother not to let any marriage happen, Bêrîvan returned to her homeland but still it didn't take long for plans on engagements and marriage to reemerge and she saw no way out anymore and understood she couldn't evade this for a second time. Bêrîvan recalls her feelings with the words, "There was only one thing which made me survive. It was the faint hope of living my own free will one day".

SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND MARRIAGE

The engagement was enforced when she was 11, against which she attempted many times to kill herself. Her family reacted with keeping her for two years locked in home without permission to leave. Time passed which opened up Bêrîvan some way to attend youths' political activities for which she even got into detention, but when she reached the age of 15 she got married off against her will.

HER CHILD AND TIME IN PRISON

After a child was born to her, one of the investigations against her turned into an indictment and she was arrested after that. Bêrîvan spent one whole year in the prison of Mardin among the political female PKK prisoners through whom she started to hear and learn about the truth of the freedom movement. After discovering and being influenced by the spirit of the PKK she began to reevaluate her own life and came to a conclusion about what she needed to do for her little child Umut and about the heavy duty which -she newly realized- lied on her shoulders. But Bêrîvan put her term in prison in that way: "The prison was in my case not a prison at all, but the gateway to a new life in freedom."

“FIRST WE HAVE TO BRING ABOUT FREEDOM”

Bêrîvan's prison term ended after one year and she returned to her one year old child Umut with whom she undoubtedly was bound as a mother. But the realities in Kurdistan were now clear in front of her eyes graver than anything, since she understood that the people and society are deprived of everything, that women in particular are denied the right to real life and that she therefore couldn't do anything even for her own child. She came to the conclusion that before everything the freedom of life must be ensured, so she called Mehmet Tunç -who fell later a martyr during the brutal military siege of the Turkish state on the civilians of Cizre- to tell him her decision to join finally the guerrilla.

MEHMET TUNÇ WAS SURPRISED BY HER DECISION

Mehmet Tunç was very surprised, he kept reminding her of her family and one year old son and urged her to rethink her decision especially for the latter, to be sure whether she really means it or not. Bêrîvan kept reassuring Mehmet Tunç with her experience in prison which- she told him- made her evaluate the situation of the people and women of Kurdistan, and that she came to the conclusion that only the fight for freedom as a guerrilla can solve the problems. She said to him, "Each day dozens of children get killed in Kurdistan, so it is not for my son alone, I want to join so that our homeland gets freed for all children." After saying this, she fulfilled her wish in 2012 by heading to the free mountains.

THE MOUNTAINS FILLED HER WITH EXCITEMENT

Alone the first steps on the ground in the mountains and encounter with the guerrillas was enough to surge in her a huge wave of enthusiasm and excitement, but after she got to wear the guerrilla clothes for the first time, she couldn't help but to burst out with a row of chants of slogans. Guerrilla Bêrîvan smiled at that memory and said: "These were the most beautiful days of my life. As the time flowed and I came to know and embraced the Kurdish freedom movement more and more, the philosophy of leader Apo and the truth and life of the guerrillas, I got even more committed. I shed all my doubts and weaknesses, and do not think of anything else than becoming a fighter for freedom.

“I WANT TO FOLLOW ZÎLAN'S EXAMPLE”

The fact that an army of women exists gives me great morale and strength. One of the great martyrs of the movement Zîlan had also married before she joined the struggle, but later she by herself laid ground for a whole path within the movement. I myself want to follow her example."